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The Brightest and Most Beautiful

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put some exlax in your english teachers food [Apr. 21st, 2005|04:50 pm]
The Brightest and Most Beautiful

todays_best

[sir_bissel]


♥ Basic ♥

Name: Preacher Travii, the Lord of No Pants.
Age: 42
Birthday: November 5th, 1955
Location: New Holland, MI
Sexual Preference: Sex is icky
Status [taken/single]: I gots me a girlfriend.
If taken, do you have a picture?

♥ Favorites ♥

3+ Singers: Beck Hansen, Jello Biafra, Henry Rollins
5+ Bands: Mojo Nixon, M. Sord, Berwer, Hornet, Beck
Band/singer you secretly love: William Shatner
Food(s): Lobster. And the Fruit Fucker 2000.
Candy: Except instead of candy, he killed them.
Clothing Item: None. I'm naked.
Clothing Brand: None.
Shoes: Converse
3+ Movie: Our Hospitality, La Jette, Le Charme discret de la bourgeoisie, Lola rennt, Debbie Does Iowa
Song: MTV Get Off the Air
Book: A Handful of Dust

♥ School ( We don’t want people who are idiots )♥

How are your grades? 3.2
Favorite subject: English. And Philosophy. And Comparative Religion.
What do you plan on majoring in at college? I graduated with a degree in English, philosophy and comparative religion.
Where do you attend/hope to attend college? I went to Hope
What do you want to be once you graduate? I have no job

♥ Beauty ♥

On a scale from 1-10 how do you rate yourself? 99
Favorite thing about yourself? My butt
Least favorite thing? My eyes
What is more important beauty or brains? Why? Brains, because oth3rwise the zombies won't love you no more.

♥ Bitchy ♥

Bitchiest thing you have ever done? I fucked my best friend's vibrator.
Do people call you a bitch? Why? Yeah, cuz I like totally ripped this guy's hair off in a ninja fight with sword-chucks, yo.
Do you enjoy being a bitch? Yeah, because my girlfriends like playing sophitia in soul caliber, and she beats me a lot of the time.
We want to be nosy. Tell us a bitchy secret. I totally had sex with like 5 guys in one night

♥Opinions, You Bitch ♥

Please pick 3+ of the topics below and elaborate, lazy!
Premarital Sex: According to the Bible it doesn't exist. You're married once you fuck. (Which is why the adultery thing exists, duh.) I only had sex with 3 girls. Aren't I lucky?
Make-up: Ugly as fuck.
Gay Marriage: Who cares? So two people want to get married? What's the big deal? Are you involved? NO, so fuckoff.
Censoring Lyrics: Parents should take an active role in the lives of children.
Pornography: There're only 4 pictures of me on the interweb/
Cliques: I'm out of college. I'm really out of high school. No.


♥ This or That ♥

Coke/Pepsi: coke
Sit-down restaurant/fast-food restaurant: not-fast-food
Paris/Nicole: Should both be shot in the mother fuckin face
Real World/Road Rules: Should both be shot in the mother fuckin face
Bush/Kerry: Kerry
Rock/Rap: Punk. And none of this "Blink 182" pop-punk shit, either.
Lindsay/Hilary: I don't care what anybody says, I like Hilary Clinton.
Mary-Kate/Ashley: They've been legal for at least a year

♥ Extra ♥

Have any tattoos or piercings? No
Tell us your pet peeves and why. I hate SUVs. Because they're a waste of space and gas. I drive a moped. I'm part of the moped army. GO DECEPTICONS!
If you could travel anywhere in the world, where and why? Taipei. One of my ex girlfriends came from there. It was cool.
Hottest celeb? Steve Buschemi.
You gotta role model? Pic? Him, for obvious reasons:
What do you think about the mods? Be honest. Who?
Make us laugh. Show us a picture, tell us a funny story or a joke.





Ratzinger and two of the theologians he disciplined for allegedly being in error, Leonardo Boff and Hans Küng, are at the pearly gates. St Peter says God will see each separately. Küng goes in first and comes out muttering, "how could I have been so wrong?" Then Boff goes in and soon he too emerges, muttering "how could I have been so wrong?" Then Cardinal Ratzinger goes in. Hours pass. There are shouts, sounds of weeping and the door swings open. God comes out muttering, "how could I have been so wrong?"

---

Upon death Cardinal Montini of Milan, and later named Pope Paul VI, arrived to Heaven. But before being allowed to enter, Saint Peter came out to talk to him. St. Peter told him, "I´m sorry, but you cannot enter straight away." Pope Paul VI looked at him with a bit of surprise, and St. Peter answered his look with an explanation, "you travelled a bit too much, and weren´t in your diocese as much as you should have been, leaving some work undone."

"So," said St. Peter. "Penitence, penitence, penitence." Pope Paul VI looked at St. Peter, shrugged his shoulders, and said "ok," and headed off to purgatory to pay penitence.

Upon death, Pope John Paul II arrived to the Pearly Gates, and started to go in, but St. Peter stopped him. Pope John Paul was a bit surprised, and asked an explanation, to which St. Peter responded: "Our Lord and Saviour gave only two long sermons while on earth, including the Sermon on the Mount, and you, however, have filled entire libraries with your material."

St. Peter declared, "Penitence, penitence, penitence." Pope John Paul couldn´t really argue with that, so off he went.

A few years later, Cardinal Ratzinger died.

As Cardinal Ratzinger was coming closer to the Gates of Heaven, he could see St. Peter who had a furious expression on his face.

To say the least, Cardinal Ratzinger was a bit surprised, if not afraid, but he continued forward, when suddenly St. Peter came running up to him, shaking his finger at him and shouting, "PENITENCE, PENITENCE, PENITENCE!"

Cardinal Ratzinger was shocked at the behaviour of St. Peter, and logically asked what he´d done wrong, to which St. Peter responded again, "PENITENCE, PENITENCE, PENITENCE..."

Calming down a bit, St. Peter, said, "because you are the person who corrected my second book!"






Promote us in one promotion community, one of your other communities, and your journal and post the links.
♥ I totally forgot to do this.


Tell us, why do YOU belong here? Why do YOU belong here? Yeah, you see?
How did you come up with your username? I used to munch on carpet. And moo. My sister decided that instead of "Carpet Muncher" i'd be called "Bissel." and then we all went to a ren fair. I still munch on carpet.
Make a soundtrack of your life (out of songs):
[x]Shins - Pink Bullets
[o]Dead Kennedys- Anarchy for Sale
[x]the 6ths - in the city in the rain
[o]beck - lost cause
[x]mojo nixon - are you drinking with me jesus? (or beer ain't drinkin)
[o]frank black - headache
[x]m sord - dmd
[o]berwer - 9 months on north street
[x]hornet - ducks
[o]trocar - little diva

♥ Pictures ♥
Post at least 3 clear & no nudity.




Post a 100x100 picture in case you get accepted.
linkReply

Comments:
From: (Anonymous)
2005-05-16 12:57 am (UTC)
Lmfao..Thanks for making my day.
(Reply) (Thread)